(?) TOWN REDEVELOPMENT (DESTRUCTION) PLAN STAGE THREE 23rd June (?) (LIES)

We are pleased to announce that stage three of the redevelopment of Kings Street and the surrounding area has been completed. With this stage comes major improvements to safety and visual appeal of the area.

To meet the lack of demand for public transport a new but stop shelter has been installed on Station West. We know it offers no protection and thank you for your understanding.

The lack of electricity in the area has been a high priority for some decades now. Whilst some issues persist in reliability the addition of overhead power lines should be a welcome one.

Due to multiple blinding's the previously installed street lights have been replaced with a redesign of the original lights. This new version promises to be 23% more wind resistant.

A new pedestrian crossing has replaced the zebra crossing after a report was released showing the fatality rate of the crossing decreased following the Belisha beacon lights being stolen.

We are aware of the issue regarding house door numbers changing and that some houses on Kings Street and Burrow Fairway are missing. We are looking into these issues but feel they do not affect a large number of local residents and as such are not a priority.

Application for planning permission (?) Shopping Mall  June 23 (?) (Fake!)

To improve The Mall experience and surrounding area a redesign and expansion of The Mall is required. This redesign has now finished phase one and plans for phase two are underway.

Due to limited space a few surrounding houses have been removed to allow The Mall to grow. Thanks to this The Mall has an improved brickwork design with new windows and flower beds. The stairs to the entrance have been retiled and there is a fresh coat of rust resistant paint on the railings. These exterior improvements finish with new front signage that is more welcoming to visitors.

The interior of The Mall has been reshaped and now provides a more vibrant space to explore thanks to a tin of green lead paint that was found and used to paint the walls of the main area.

The main area has been split into the red zone on the left and the blue zone on the right; each zone features new nicer looking display shelves and bins. If you can locate the old shelves please let us know where they are.

Corridor wings A and B have decided to stop existing, leaving two corridors that lead deeper into The Mall. In their place are four new shops. We welcome them to The Mall and hope you can find the keys as the doors are still locked.

A new train track has been attached to the ceiling in both zones but unfortunately the train is still delayed but is expected to arrive within the next 13 years.

Introducing The Snap Stack

Due to a capacitor exploding the old console has been replaced with the Snap Stack. We don’t know who made it or why it appeared but luckily all the cartridges liked the new design and morphed to be compatible.

The capabilities of the Snap Stack are still unknown but we hope you will enjoy finding out what they are, perhaps you can learn more at a later date after finding the codes to the corridor gates.

Please do visit and explore. There is much to be found. Of that, I am certain.